


home.

by laynackerman



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Cute, Fluff and Angst, Heathers References, Multi, Sad, atsumubestbrother, idontknowwhattotag, sunaosa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29153976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laynackerman/pseuds/laynackerman
Summary: i’ll do everything. even when it comes to breaking my heart. just to save your smile.
Relationships: Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Kudos: 12





	home.

**Author's Note:**

> the plot just come out of nowhere so i kinda thought that this story won't be the best story i've wrote so far. anyway, since you're here. enjoy!!

"i think we should take a break." 

suna's eyes widened. there's no other reason she would have said that to him. suna knew it well. he even saw them together. he knew _that she had fallen out of love with him_. "so, it's really happening." he mumbled to himself. a fake smile is shown on his face. he pushes his hair backwards and breathes out loud. "fine. i can't force someone to love me by the way. go ahead. you're free now. love him and forget me." 

suna turned his back towards his ex, and he began to head to some place. _where he could calm himself down. where he could forget the pain on his chest._ _where he could feel the warmth of people_. he wished she cried her lungs out for him to not go. part of him wanting her to not let him walk away from her. but that will never happened. _he knew she only dated him just because. and he admitted that he was a fool for letting himself get used by her._ _but suna adores her. she's the only one who he's in-love with._

he pulls out a box of cigarettes from his pocket, picks one of it and lightens it up. he blows the smoke out from his mouth, trying his best to blow the memories he had with her. it sickens him. he just wishes he would never talk to her. it was his fault. _ he wished he never met her in the first place.  _

the smell of rain caught his attention. he looked up in the dark sky, cursing at the weather.  _ really? _ "damnit." he quickly ran to shelter himself as he felt the drops of rain on his skin, letting the cigarette fall on the road as he ran. 

_ this sucks. unbelievably sucks.  _

he found a nearby grocery store and quickly sheltered himself there. suna continued cursing nonsense, thinking that it would calm himself a bit. he watched the rain drops in silence, still thinking about  _ her. _ suna sighs, takes out his phone from his hoodie pocket and opens the photos. he scroll up, till he sees the photos of him and her and chuckles. "i'm pathetic," 

the door opened and suna turned his head to look for the person. _oh? his eyes met the familiar guy with gray hair, and big navy blue eyes._ _the atsumu's twins_. _wait, what was his name again? o..osamu?_

_ definitely. osamu miya _ . 

suna sighs _. why should i care about him? he's different from his brother _ . just look at those deadpan faces. _ it's expressionless _ . he may don't even date anyone at all. lucky him. he's probably doesn't understand what heart broken is. 

just like suna, osamu didn't have any umbrella with him, so he waited. both of them fell into a deep silence, only the rain drops could be heard. suna kept on staring at him, questioning himself if osamu didn't have a phone or he just didn't want to use his phone right now. he was about to ask him, but he didn't. what's the point of talking to him. he's probably got annoyed by me. maybe that's why he didn't have any friends at all. 

just about suna wanting to look back at his phone, osamu turned, meeting his eyes with suna's. both of them stared into each other's eyes, up until suna broke the ice. 

"osamu miya, right?" 

osamu blink twice before nodding his head. suna nodded back, already giving up on trying to have a long conversation with him. he looked back at his phone, deleting the pictures that he took with his ex. his heart aches as he watched the photos, remembering the memories both of them shared before. 

_ it's a fake memory. what's wrong with you, suna?  _

"you're suna..." suna quickly glanced up, a bit surprised to hear him talking to him. in school,  _ he never spoke _ . like, suna never hears him saying a word at all. "right?" 

"yea." 

and there it goes again.  _ awkward silence _ . suna tried to think about something to ask him, but his mind couldn't work properly.  _ fuck it. so what if we didn't talk at all? nothing's wrong with it, right?  _

"atsumu talked a lot about you," osamu said, with his eyes staring at the dark blue sky. he doesn't know why but he feels like he could loosen up a bit to suna.  _ he needs to change. he won’t ended up being dumb like he used to before. _

suna chuckled, "is it bad?" somehow, he really wanted to talk to someone. _ just...anyone. _

osamu leans against the window beside suna. he's starting to feel a bit comfortable with him. "yes but no. the way he talks makes you look like a bad guy but i bet you don't." 

suna smiled.  _ osamu's not bad at all. i misjudged him _ . "what did he say?" he off his phone and slid into his pocket, suiting himself with the awkward, yet, comfortable situation. 

"there's a lot. but i remember he told me that you smoke. you really did that?" 

"well. not gonna lie, i did smoke. why? you hate it?" suna took a look beside him, wanting to see any expressions. but to his disappointment, osamu was still deadpan. 

as expected, suna did smoke. but osamu didn't mind it. he's free to do anything.  _ why should i hate it? _ "nope. here, want one?" osamu pulled out one of his onigiri from the plastic bag and handed it to suna. 

"salmon?" 

"tuna." 

"oh. thanks." suna grabbed it, taking a good look at it. he didn't expect this to happen. osamu was really out of his imagination. people often said that osamu miya is a boring, dull, blank face type. but here he is, a kind, comfortable and softhearted guy.  _ if only they knew the real osamu _ . "i'll eat it later." 

"sure." 

suna put the onigiri inside his hoodie pocket, kind of feeling a bit happy getting free food. "did atsumu tell you to buy snacks or what?" 

"even if he told me to do so, i won't. he has legs for a reason." 

the corner of his mouth moves upwards.  _ maybe today wasn't that bad _ .  _ meeting new people and making new friends aren't that bad at all after breaking up with someone _ . suna sighs for the nth time, "i just broke up with my girlfriend." 

osamu instantly turns. "why would you tell me?" 

"because i trust you? it's not that i do any crime of letting someone know that i just broke up. and also, you're atsumu's twins. both of you were just the same except for hair and personality." suna sling his hand over his chest, leaning his head on the window of the store. 

"eyes?" 

"and eyes." 

osamu exhaled a heavy breath. "i'm such a boring person, right?" his voice a bit deeper, feeling a bit upset as he was about to ask suna something about him. 

suna tilted his head. "what if i said you're not?" 

"jokes on you. i don't believe it. i'm a boring person. that's why nobody wanted to talk to me." he looked up a bit, seeing the rain was quite down a bit.  _ it should stop in another minute _ . 

"so, am i the nobody?" 

osamu paused, "what?" 

"i'm talking to you. bruh, c'mon. at least show a smile, or even shocked face. you look so dead, y'know." suna punches osamu's shoulder softly. he covers his head with the hood and slips his hand inside the hoodie pocket. "well. see you in school." he bid him a goodbye before disappearing from osamu's eyes. 

osamu feels his heart beating faster.  _ damnit. it’ll only make it harder for me to let you go.  _

-

"tsumu, can't you be any slower?" 

"shut up, samu." 

osamu watches as his twins rush themselves, tying the shoelace and sigh. "faster, tsumu." he said while looking at the clock, imagining how both of them would get scolded because of being late. 

"just go already. no need to wait for me." 

osamu keeps silent. should i? but if i do that, i won't be meeting suna today. "shut up and tie your shoelace quickly." 

he needs to meet suna. and  _ he hopes suna wants the same as him too _ . 

\- 

to their fortunate luck, both of them barely made in time. they were out of breath, bending down a bit to catch some air. osamu was freaking out about himself. he never went to school this late. he'll always leave his brother behind and go to school on his own. but today, it's different. osamu really wants to see suna rintarou. he missed talking to him already. 

"you're late again." 

osamu straightened his back, eyes meeting with the person in front of him. he knew that he should say something to him since he was atsumu's best friend, but he shut his mouth. betting that keeping silence was much better than talking. 

_ it will probably be more awkward if he made any conversation.  _

"but at least i made it in time," atsumu said, with a proud tone. he raised one of his eyebrows when he didn't see his other best friend. "where's suna?" 

aran pulled out his phone from his pocket and began to walk side by side with atsumu, osamu following from behind. "he has a fever. that brat probably played with the rain yesterday." he scrolled up, finding the message suna gave to him early in the morning. and he shows it to atsumu, giving osamu an opportunity to take a sneak peak on it. 

osamu feels his heart aches hearing that suna has fever. ah, he ran through the rain yesterday. of course he would get a fever. 

aran turned his head to the back a bit, only to take a peak at osamu and he quickly faced forward when osamu saw him staring. "this is first time," 

"what?" atsumu asked, scrolling his phone. 

"you're with your brother. you never go school with him. what's up?" 

atsumu turned, looking at his brother who kept following behind him. "oh yea. i forgot to ask. hey, samu. why do you want to go school with me today, huh? you wanna force me buy you pudding, aren't you?" he turned his whole body, walking to the class backwards. 

"heck no. mom told me to go to school with you sometimes and i don't wanna be a bad son like you. anyway, tell mom i'll be back late for today." 

without waiting for any response from atsumu, he turned, and headed to his class. osamu could hear his brother asking him why he would be back late but he ignored him. waving at him without looking at him at all. he sighs, "guess i won't be meeting him today," 

\- 

right after the bell rang, all students packing their things, preparing to head back home, while osamu stared outside of the classroom, stunned by the weather. it's a clear blue sky. so pretty. 

he breath out loud, slowly putting all his things inside his bag. i wonder how suna's doing. his head filled with just  _ suna, suna, and suna. _

suna was attractive on osamu's eyes. the first time he ever saw suna when he was talking to atsumu, he saw his eyes shining bright, clear as crystal. the way he laughed at atsumu's jokes was so pretty. suna once tried to make a conversation with him before, but it didn't turn out well. osamu was a bit panicked to talk with suna, whom he admired so much, and that's what makes him regret for not talking with suna properly. since that day, he was always scared to meet suna's gaze. _ he was scared if suna hated him _ . 

but the plot twisted. he saw suna running towards the side of the grocery store to shelter himself. he know that suna staring at him when he get out from the store. he keep on thinking, what to talk about with suna. and right when he turned to face suna, his mind just went blank. it has been so long since he saw those pretty eyes of him. 

he was at loss of words. but then, he saw him opening his mouth, talking to him for the first time in a long time. and osamu was relieved. he felt those butterflies when suna started to speak to him. he just wanted the moments to stay longer. 

_ but he wasn't sure if suna feels the same way as him. _

osamu looked at his surroundings. oh? he didn't even notice he was right in front of the grocery store, the place where he met suna and built a new memories with him yesterday. he look at the side of the window, remembering the moments when suna gladly take the onigiri he gave to him. only god know how much he wants to see suna right now. 

"osamu?" 

the familiar voice calling out his name from his behind. his heart beating fast, like it could explode in no time. the butterflies feeling comes again. suna was the only one who could make him feel this way. 

_ only...suna rintarou.  _

"what are you doing here? aren't you sick?" osamu asked, looking at the guy who wore a thick black hoodie, one of his hands holding a pack of cigarettes. 

"it's just a slight fever. tomorrow i should be fine. wait, did atsumu tell you that i was sick?" suna rubbed his swollen eyes, trying to make it less puffy. 

osamu sighs, "yea. actually you should just rest in your house. why did you get here?" 

suna showed him the pack of cigarettes on his left hand and smiled. "i was out of cigarettes. and i need some fresh air. it sucks to be stuck in your room for a good 24 hours." he shoved the pack back into his pocket. 

"you are still underage, how can you buy cigarettes just fine?" 

"the cashier was one of my friends so no worries. anyway, i bet you're here to buy onigiri again?" suna smirk. both of his hands were already inside the hoodie pocket, keeping it warm. 

osamu paused. 

_ i'm here because i miss you.  _

"yea. the one that i bought yesterday was stolen by a shithead." 

suna laughs a bit. and osamu swore to god that he found suna's little laugh was so cute. he wished he could record him laugh and listen to it everyday. he promised he won't get tired of it. 

"i don't know you could curse people." suna said, smiling to ears as he heard someone who looks lonely talks back about his brother. it feels...funny for him. osamu could be interesting sometimes. part of him wanting to discover more about him, he admits it. 

osamu sighs again, "only to atsumu." 

"you could be a bit savage sometimes, osamu. i didn't expect that from you, you know." suna pulled out his phone and checked the time. "shoot. i need to go now. nice talking to you, by the way. oh, and let me save your number. this is random, but i thought we should hang out more together. here you go." suna handed him his phone while anywhere but osamu. 

osamu couldn't believe what he hears.  _ is it true? _ did suna just tell him that both of them should hang out more together? he took a look at suna's phone and typed his number on it and instantly passed it back towards suna. 

suna was about to leave, but osamu called his name, making him look back to osamu. "yea?" 

"you'll come to school tomorrow, right?" 

suna nodded, "of course. see you tomorrow...osamu!" he waved, with a smile ears to ears. osamu waved at him back, but suna couldn't catch the small smile on osamu's face. 

"see you tomorrow...suna." 

\- 

"wow. i thought you probably got lost and never stepped in home again." atsumu raised his voice a bit, enough to make sure osamu could hear him well. he was well laid on the couch, playing games on his mobile. 

osamu wasn't in the mood to fight with atsumu, so he ignored him, entering his shared room with ease. but seconds later, atsumu enters the room, a bit mad at osamu as he ignores him just now. "oi, samu. are you ignoring me?" 

"i'll report to mom if you keep on talking shit. get the heck out and play games. don't fucking disturb me." osamu sighs, putting all his school things on his study table and getting ready to take a bath. 

atsumu growls. he doesn’t care if he reports to mom. he just hates it when osamu ignores him. but judging to osamu's deadpan expression, he gave up. "fine. but lemme ask you one question. when did you become so friendly with suna?" 

osamu's eyes widened. he instantly turned to face his brother, shocked to hear the question given to him. "what- wait- how- when- huh??" he couldn't think right. did atsumu know what's going on between suna and him? what if he knows that he likes suna? will he let suna know about it? 

"wow. are you that shocked that i know you and suna chat together at the grocery store? chill." atsumu said while walking to his bed and took a seat on it. he smirked, "i was craving for snacks so i went to the grocery store and that's when i saw you and suna chit chatting." 

"but i didn't even see you inside the grocery store?" 

"because i went to suna? he was sick plus he just broke up so i went up to him and checked him out. now,  _ you  _ tell me when did you meet him." 

osamu couldn't blame his brother for checking suna out.  _ they're best friends after all _ . he just hopes that atsumu won't know his feelings for suna. _ if he does, it was the end of him _ . osamu sighs, "we met at the grocery store yesterday when i went out to buy onigiri." 

"then?" 

"then, he spoke to me first." 

"what did he say?" 

"he asked me if i'm osamu." 

a loud laugh filled the room. atsumu laughed so hard he could feel his stomach ache in pain. "really? did suna ask you that? that's fucking ridiculous. then, what did you tell him? 'oh no. i'm atsumu, not osamu'. oh god, please tell me you said that to him." 

"fuck, no. the hell are you thinking about. i'm done talking. get the fuck out of this room." osamu pushes his brother out of the room, and quickly locks the door so he won't annoy him again. thank god, atsumu didn't bang the room or else osamu could probably lose his mind. 

osamu's phone rang, making him jump in surprise for a second before picking up the phone. it was an unknown caller, but who the heck calling people at this hour? "hello?" 

_ "oh hey. i thought you wouldn't pick up."  _

the same voice he heard before. the soft calm voice that he missed to hear just a while ago. "suna?" 

_ "wow. was my voice really unique or you're just really good at guessing? anyway, save my number. i'll be adding you in the group after this."  _

osamu could hear that suna's voice cracked a bit. he wanted to ask if he's okay, but he couldn't. wait, maybe he could. it's just a simple question, anyone could ask. "hey, you okay?" 

there's a slight pause. osamu knew that something was not right. _ "what do you mean-"  _

"are you...crying?" osamu feels the pain in his heart knowing that suna is probably crying and he called him just because he feels lonely. he didn't blame him. instead, he feels relieved that suna chose to call him instead of his friend. he knows that suna is probably feeling down right now and if he calls his friend, he won't have any reason to do that. and that's why he called osamu, just to make him feel a bit less lonely. 

_ "yeah...i'm okay."  _

suna's voice cracked again.  _ he’s such a bad liar. _

osamu took a deep breath, and let it go. "wanna meet up?" 

suna didn't respond. he kept quiet, letting the time go waste. he didn't want to end the call. he didn't want to say 'i'm okay' and hang up. he just wanted someone to say something to him. he wanted some accompaniment. 

osamu knows that suna won't give him an answer if he keeps asking if he wants to meet up, so he tries to think the other way for them to meet each other. "hey suna, i have something to tell you. let's meet at the same grocery store. see you at 8, okay?" 

suna takes his time to adjust his voice, before he answers,  _ "okay." _ and hangs up. 

osamu breathed out loud, looking outside the window and found that the sky darkened. he could guess what makes him depressed.  _ it's easy to read him sometimes _ . 

\- 

osamu checked his phone for the nth time. it's 8.06 p.m and suna didn't show up at all. he felt nervous, anxious and scared.  _ what if suna didn't want to meet him? _ but he answered okay just now, so he should be here.  _ was osamu too forceful towards him?  _

"hey." 

a quick glance was given from osamu to suna. he was relieved, suna did show up. but he's in pain, to see suna's eyes reddened and swollen. more worse than the time they met at the grocery store. 

suna leaned his back on the clear wall of the grocery store, being by osamu's side. osamu could smell the mixture of cigarettes and mint scent. he guessed suna did smoke a lot before he came here. 

"tell me. what is it that you wanted to tell me?" suna finally asked. he didn't want to have an awkward silence with osamu. he wanted to hear osamu's voice talking to him. he wanted to listen, instead of talking. but he knows that osamu probably doesn't want him to bottle it himself. 

"listen carefully, okay?" he saw suna nodded, so he continued, "i was in love with someone, but i know that it was just one-sided love." 

suna looked at him stunned, and didn't know how to react. "h-hey, do you seriously want to tell me that? aren't that a bit private for you?" _ does he trust me that much?  _

"yea. i'm serious. do you not want to hear what am i gonna tell you? if so, then-" 

"it's not like i don't want to hear. but you're telling me something about your private life." suna looks down on his feet. he hates his mind for wanting to know about the person osamu in love with.  _ curiosity did kill people. _

osamu smiled, "it's okay. we're friends, right?" even though it was a pain for him to let out those words, he still did. at this time, he won't even care what he feels.  _ he just wants suna to be okay and happy. even if he's the one that drowns in an incredible pain.  _

"fine, if you say so." he paused a bit. "is she pretty?" 

his smile gets wider.  _ unfortunately, it's a he, not she _ . "very. but sometimes things won't work as planned, right?" 

"did she reject you?" 

"nope. i didn't even confess." 

"why?" 

"cause i know that it won't work. we both weren't meant to be. i tried to give up. but i still love...her." osamu's eyes met suna's and he sighs. _ referring suna as 'her' was so weird. _ " _ she _ 's the only one who can make me feel those butterflies in my stomach. even if i don't see  _ her _ in minutes, i would be missing  _ her _ . i hate myself for loving someone that won't love me back." 

suna felt the pain on his chest, like his heart was sliced into pieces. _ why does it feel so related to me? if i told him everything that makes me depressed, will he understand me?  _

_ surely he does.  _

"your stories are just the same as mine. but i did confess. and both of us dated for a few months. but the thing is, i'm the only one who's trying. she gave me no shit at all. i'm the one who says 'i love you' before we sleep. i'm the one who is missing her. i'm the only one who keeps on thinking about her. but she? probably thinking about having a sex with the other boy. and when she gets bored with me, that's it. we broke up. she get to her new sex toy and i was left all alone." suna closed his eyes, breathing fresh air after releasing all his problems towards osamu. he feels so much better than just now.  _ and it's all thanks to osamu.  _

osamu punched suna's shoulder, jokingly said, "she's trash, isn't she?" 

"yea. a fucking trash. i don't get why I could fall in love with her." 

"and you still couldn't move on with her? that's why you cried, huh?" 

suna bite his lower lips. "don't tell atsumu and aran that i cried. if both of them know, i"ll be dead a dead meat." 

osamu left out a small laugh, enjoying the face that suna gave to him as if he was threatening him not to tell atsumu. "okay, okay. i won't tell. so, you feel better now?" 

suna smiled. a pure thankful smile. "yes. and that's all thanks to you." 

all of sudden, osamu avoids making eye contact with suna. he quickly turns around, his back facing him. 

"what's wrong?" suna quickly tried to take a look at osamu, but osamu was fast enough to avoid facing him. 

"i-i'm not okay. i forgot that i have something to do at home. s-see you tomorrow!" osamu bid him goodbye and ran off towards his house. suna was standing alone, confused by osamu's weird behavior. it's amusing for suna to see a new side of osamu. and he wanted to see each of them. he found osamu really interesting. 

osamu ran as if he was being chased by a ghost. he wanted to scream his lungs out due to his excitement, but he couldn't since it was 9p.m, the time when everyone started to sleep. his face was just like a tomato, blushing mess as he kept on remembering suna's smile from just now. 

_ it wasn't good for him to keep on liking suna everytime he sees him.  _

"yo, samu- wait, are you sick or what?" was the first thing that came from atsumu's mouth after osamu entered the room. 

"shut the fuck up if you want to live longer." 

-

the next day, osamu still did the same as he did yesterday: waiting for atsumu to tie his shoelaces properly. 

"why the fuck you keep on waiting for me? it's kinda scary, you know?" atsumu complained, getting goosebumps since osamu told him that he will go to school with him again for today. maybe it's not just today. maybe he'll be with him everyday. who knows? 

"just...shut up, can't you?" osamu tries his best not to get stressed over a his stupid brother. if only atsumu behave like the other older brothers out there. 

atsumu tsk him, finally done with his shoelaces. "did suna ask you to go to school with me?" he asked while opening the door for him to get out of the house. 

osamu flinches a bit when he hears atsumu called his name. "i told you. mom told me to go to school with you often." 

_ sorry, mom. i'll be using you as the reason to walk with suna to class everyday.  _

"yea. yea. whatever." 

-

as both of them entered the school, osamu's eyes were busy searching for the person whom he missed a lot. he did come, right? his eyes stopped as he saw suna, showing his phone to aran. probably talking about something. 

atsumu screams their names, making both of them turn to look at him. suna saw osamu behind his best friend, and he smiled.  _ this is new _ . 

"oh? what happened when i was sick yesterday?" suna asked, referring to osamu's who followed atsumu from behind. 

atsumu glanced behind him and then turned back towards suna. "you guys being all friendly behind my back, it's unfair!" he pouts. 

aran was eye-widened. "wait, huh? i don't get it." 

suna smirk, "there's nothing wrong for me to be a friend of osamu, right? anyway, he's much better than both of you." 

"that's fucking hurt, suna. i hate you." atsumu fake cries while aran still couldn't believe his ears. suna wasn't the type of making new friends easily since he was a bit picky when it came to a person. he didn't expect osamu met his standards? 

suna usually hangs out with someone who can keep talking nonstop, just like atsumu. aran was exceptional since atsumu met aran and became his friends before suna. but osamu? he's like the least person that suna will be friends with. 

_ people did change. suna did proof it.  _

"anyway, let's eat together for lunch." suna points out an idea, while scrolling down the messages he got just now. he wants osamu to eat lunch with them, it should be hella fun. 

"are you still sick? we're always eat together for lunch, dimwit." atsumu rolled his eyes, only to find some girls staring at him and osamu. he winked at them, and saw a pink blush on their face as they got embarrassed by atsumu's flirty actions. osamu who's walking behind him saw his doing and got disguised by it. he acted like he was throwing up, making atsumu turn to his back and smirk, "you jealous cause i'm the one who got more attention than you?" 

"you're fucking disgusting. i let mom know about it." 

"what the hell? why do you want to report everything i did to mom? for fuck sake, can you stop acting like you're a good son? i get sick of it, ya know?" atsumu raised his voice a bit, catching some attention. students are all staring, whispering about the twins starting to fight and gain more people to watch it live. 

osamu scoff, "you're just jealous cause mom loves me more than you, freaks." 

atsumu pulled osamu's collar, completely losing his patience. "you should just get lost and die, fucking asshole." 

"and you should just eat shit, bastard." 

suna pulled out his phone, already recording both of them fighting as they kept cursing each other. it looks fun. is it how both of them were in their house? 

"aren't we supposed to stop them?" aran asked, a bit worried of both of them as they started to punch each other's faces. 

suna let out a small laugh, "they should be just fine." 

the rest of the day was spent with lots of laughter. suna and aran admit it, they did have lots of fun when osamu was around. it's amusing watching the twins fighting together. osamu did make some improvement since that day. he started to speak more with lots of people. 

lots of girls sneak out osamu's locker, putting their love letters inside it. but osamu gives those letters to atsumu, telling him that they've accidentally put the names wrong. osamu didn't get why he became so famous since he started to open up more to people. is this how atsumu's day was spent everyday in school? being stalked and getting lots and lots letters? 

_ sucks to be his twins.  _

suna did notice how popular can osamu be after he hung out with the three of them. he swore, he was jealous of him. atsumu was popular enough with girls, of course osamu will be the same as his brother. especially when he starts to open up. suna could just look at him, admiring how people could like him just easily, while him,  _ waiting for himself to be loved by someone _ . 

suna has his own dark past. he doesn’t want anyone to know the reason why he fake his smile, the reason why he moved into a better school, the reason why he tried his best to  _ change himself into a better person.  _

_ he didn't want anyone to hate him. he was scared to be alone again.  _

_ he just wants someone to promise him that they will love him forever, that they won't leave by his side.  _

he remembers those moments when osamu makes him let out the things that bother him. he likes those feelings that he had that time. the feelings of satisfaction.  _ someone did listen to him. someone didn't leave him.  _

if only osamu was friends with him since the day he was born. atsumu was very lucky to have someone like osamu in his life. 

"suna!" 

suna looked at his back, eyes meeting with osamu who called him, leaning on the side of the sliding door, signaling him that it was time to get back home. suna nodded with a smile on his mouth, he mouthed, "at the gate." 

osamu shook his head, disagreed with suna. he mouthed him back, "i'll wait here. faster." then, he smiled back to suna. 

the corner of suna's mouth went more upwards, smiling from ear to ear. suna signals him ‘okay' and quickly packs his bag before walking towards osamu. both of them walk out from the school together, meeting the others at the gate. 

the four of them will always get their way back home together. suna and aran were the only one who'll enjoy these moments a lot. it's becoming their routine. first, atsumu will talk nonsense towards them, then osamu will complain about it, continue with atsumu cursing at him and osamu will follow it after that. suna will always be the one who records it with his phone. and aran will be the one who stopped the fighting when he had enough with the twin's craps. 

suna laughed a lot whenever he was with osamu. aran and atsumu did notice it, and that's why atsumu didn't bother complaining about why osamu suddenly wanted to join their group. _ suna seems happy. osamu changed much better _ . he just hoped nothing more and nothing less.  _ this is perfect for four of them.  _

-

"why the fuck did mom wanted us to buy cokes at this time?" atsumu cursed while walking towards the nearby grocery store, with osamu beside him. 

osamu sighs. if only she asked atsumu to buy 1 bottle of cokes and not 5 of them. "the faster we buy those freaking cokes, the faster we can head back home." he picked up his pace, but then he stopped as he saw such familiar faces. 

atsumu saw his brother stopped suddenly, and he followed. "why? what's wrong? is there a cockroach in front of you?" he looked down on osamu's shoes, finding nothing. 

osamu just couldn't believe his eyes. "isn't that suna?" he pointed his index finger towards a familiar guy, who's walking with a girl, talking and laughing without noticing their presence. 

"bruh, did this man already start dating his girlfriend? wait, lemme show to aran." atsumu smirks, ready to snap a picture of suna and the new girl who kept on walking side by side with him. 

osamu was shocked.  _ so, he got himself a new girlfriend without telling me? _ he was standing still, dumbfounded. it just felt like the world was against him. he was just trying to be closer to suna, yet, another person stole him so fucking easily. 

he bit his lower lips, breathing uncontrollably. atsumu noticed how osamu's doing, and he was a bit surprised to see how pale his face was. he took a look at suna, then back to osamu. he slid his phone back inside his pocket and sighs. "samu." 

osamu didn't replied. he kept looking at his shoes, his mind went off to somewhere else. he couldn't think straight. everything feels just so fast. he knows that suna won't accept his feelings, but he still wanted to spend more time with suna. _ he wasn't ready to give suna to anyone else.  _

"samu!" 

osamu looked up in surprised. he saw atsumu's angry face, and instantly apologized. his action only made atsumu weirded out.  _ osamu rarely apologized to him _ . 

"let's just buy the fucking cokes and go home." atsumu pulled osamu's jacket, making sure he followed him from behind. 

_ he saw those eyes again _ . 

_ osamu was broken again. but this time, it was far more worse than that.  _

-

osamu quickly went up to his bed after both of them headed back home. his mom was surprised to see osamu's behaving like that. but atsumu said something to his mom, making her nod in understanding his situation. 

atsumu lay on his bed, both hands under his head, acting like a pillow. he sighs again, "you like suna, right?" 

the question being left unanswered. osamu was tired. he just wanted to be left alone. it only makes him want to cry if he spoke any words. everything just doesn't work for him. he's hurt.  _ physically and mentally.  _

"it probably his sister or-" 

"i don't fucking care anymore." osamu gave up. tears all rolling down, wetting his pillow. he knew suna didn't have any siblings. suna did tell him. and he believes it. strongly. 

"you think i didn't know you? i fucking know you since the day you were born. i know you, samu. you're dying inside. and i just had enough of it. i hate it when you're broken." atsumu finally confessed. who the fuck didn't care about his brother? he knew that they both fought everyday, but they never went across the line. they knew each other. more than anyone else does. atsumu will be lying if he says that he didn't care if osamu was hurt or not.  _ he care _ . _ even if he never showed it, he always cared.  _

"i know that suna won't have the same feeling for me. but why? why can't i just give up? why can't i move on?" his voice cracked, his throat hurt so much, he can't even talk properly. the memories he shared with suna suddenly filled his mind. _ why now? _

"you know, no matter how hard you try, things just went unexpectedly. but you know him, samu. he only saw you as a friend. not more and not less." atsumu looks up on the bed frame, imagining how red osamu's face can be right now.  _ he's suffering, he can hear it well _ . "i know it's hard to let go of someone that you love for 4 years. but you have lots of people to talk to now. just...don't bottle it yourself. geez, you always keep it to yourself, i'm tired of you." 

osamu feels his heart ache.  _ so, did atsumu know that he has feelings for suna since the day he met him? he didn't even notice that he's been shouldering everything on his own. he always listens, but never talks to people about him.  _

_ and atsumu did notice about it too.  _

osamu takes a deep breath, and lets go. "i wasn't ready." he covered his eyes with the sleeves, letting it all absorb his tears. "i never expected that he could move on from his ex that fast. i thought...i could make him happy without him getting a new girlfriend. i thought i could give him time to move on from his ex. but i was fucking dumb. he was really an unexpected guy, i don't even understand him." 

"he didn't tell you, did he? that he had a transfer student in his class 2 days ago? and that girl was one of his crushes from his old school. since she did know suna, they both friend so easily and that girl started to ask him out." atsumu broke his promises. suna told him not to let osamu know, and the reason is, because he wanted to surprise him. suna wanted to appear suddenly and surprised osamu, telling him that he had a new girlfriend, thinking that osamu would be happy for him. atsumu knew that it wouldn't be a best idea, so he was waiting for the right moment to let osamu know. 

_ that's because he was scared osamu would get depressed.  _

_ just like what he does right now.  _

but things just went unexpected. he didn't know that suna would go out with his girlfriend today. plus, he felt super guilty for acting supportive towards both of them. he knew he can't blame suna for making his brother cry.  _ suna has done nothing wrong.  _

"does it really hurt?" atsumu asked, couldn't help but worry about his brother. of course it hurts, dimwit. 

"fucking hurt." 

"want me to buy you onigiri?" 

"shut up, asshole. i'm not in that fucking mood." 

"then what can i do to make you feel less hurt?" atsumu groans. he wasn't used to calming someone when it comes about love. _ it was his first time.  _

osamu stops for a while. _ it didn't hurt to ask him that, right? _ he needed it. he didn't care who could tell that to him.  _ anyone could do _ . "can you tell me that everything's gonna be okay?" 

"everything's gonna be okay, samu. i know it's hard to move on, but at least ask me for help. you have me, mom and dad." atsumu sighs, "take it slow, okay?" 

the tears rolled more and more. it won't stop. he thought that it could be less hurt if someone told him those words, but why is it still hurt as hell? he wanted to scream to the world, stating that the world is too cruel for him. 

_ if only the world noticed how painful it is for osamu. he could have a happy ending if they knew him.  _

"thanks, tsumu. i'm okay now." 

atsumu knows he's lying. he’s still not okay. but he couldn't do anything for him. those feelings were so hard to disappear. it only depends on osamu, whether he's strong enough to killed those feelings or keep on waiting for suna to come to him,  _ which will never happen _ . 

-

"eh? why did osamu didn't come to school?" suna quickly asked when he couldn't find osamu anywhere near atsumu. he wasn't the type not to go to school. plus, today's the day. the day he wanted to introduce his new girlfriend to osamu. 

atsumu sighs, "he's not feeling well." and with that, he continued to walk straight towards his class, not minding his two friends left behind. 

aran knew something was wrong. atsumu never behaves like this. he usually spits nonsense while walking towards the class. but he's quiet today. 

_ too quiet.  _

"what a pity. i thought the plan could work well today." suna whispered to himself, but still could be heard by atsumu. 

atsumu turned back, facing suna. "umm, suna. osamu already knows that you got a new girlfriend." he said, with a deadpan face. he wasn't sure how to make an expression at this situation. it was slightly hard for him. 

suna's eyes widened a bit. "he knew? did you tell him?" 

"he saw you walking home with your new girlfriend. and he asked me about it. so, we should probably just abandon the plans, okay? see you guys at lunch." he enters his class, completely ignoring the girls who're trying to talk to him. 

suna gives a weird look. "okay, this is so weird, don't you think so?" 

"atsumu never been like this before. maybe it was about osamu?" aran asked back, guessing the reason why atsumu behaving so weird today. 

"was osamu's disease so bad?" 

"maybe. let's just ask atsumu about it." 

-

"i'm home." atsumu hears his mom welcome him home, but there's no smile on his face like he usually does. today was pretty tiring for him. especially when he had to face suna. he feels like wanting to curse suna, since he's the reason why osamu was broken inside. but suna also was totally innocent in this case. 

the problem is... _ osamu's feelings. that's the exact problem.  _

atsumu went inside his room, finding that osamu was still on his bed, listening to some songs using his earphones in silence. he wanted to tell osamu, that suna was worried about him, but maybe it wasn't the best idea to do so. 

he took out sticky notes and wrote something on it. then, he put it on the table, under an onigiri he bought just now. atsumu looked back at his brother, only could see his back facing him, and he sighs. he takes his phone and goes out of his room, trying to give osamu some space for him to calm himself. 

osamu heard the door was closed and he went up, looking at his table. he put the music on low volume, so he could hear everything. the way atsumu sighs, the sound of him writing. he could hear it clearly. he took the sticky notes under the onigiri and read it. 

_ mom told me that you didn't eat anything at all. i bought you your fav onigiri. be grateful, you lil shit. _

he turned his gaze towards the onigiri and saw the flavour of the onigiri. 

_ tuna.  _

\- 

it has been 3 days since osamu went to school. there's a lot of things that he didn't know happened in school. suna was worried sick of him, aran planned on visiting him, and atsumu didn't talk much with other people nowadays. but osamu didn't care about anything.  _ he could only think about how happy suna is when he's dating his girlfriend.  _

his thoughts pushed away as he heard his phone ringing. _ ah. it's been a while since he turned on his phone.  _

_ (monday) _

**suna: you have fever?** _ 10.30pm _

**suna: why didnt u tell me?** _ 10.31pm _

_ (tuesday)  _

**suna: hey, u kay?** _ 6.05pm  _

**suna: what's wrong?** _ 6.05pm _

**suna: why u still didn't replied?** _ 7.48pm _

**suna: osamu** _ 7.51pm _

**suna: why the f u still didnt replied?** _ 7.52pm _

_ (wednesday)  _

**suna: lets meet at the grocery store** _ 6.40pm  _

**suna: ill wait till you come** _ 6.41pm _

**suna: waiting** _ 7.30pm  _

osamu's eyes widened. he take a look at the clock and it shows 8.25p.m.  _ fucking hell. was suna still waiting there? _ osamu quickly jumped off his bed and went out of his room. atsumu and his mom were a bit surprised to finally see osamu get out of his room. it has been a while since he went outside. 

atsumu gets up from the couch and quickly walks towards osamu. "you okay now?" he asked, relieved thinking that osamu probably has calmed down by now. 

but osamu shook his head and instantly showed the messages towards atsumu. his eyes widened in disbelief. "want me to meet him? i'll tell him that you're still sick." atsumu confessed his idea. osamu has just calmed himself down, and now he needs to meet suna?  _ that's such a hell for him.  _

osamu paused. he know that this wouldn't go anywhere if he still kept up like this. later on, he still needs to face suna  _ again. and again. and again. _ they were friends after all.  _ friends _ . "no. i'll meet him." he said while putting on his hoodie and slid his phone inside the pocket. before he left the house, he looked at his brother, who took good care of him whenever he felt down. he smiled, "thanks, tsumu." 

atsumu has sacrificed a lot just to make sure osamu was okay. he will start his day facing the person who he wants to meet the least, and continue with buying the foods that osamu really likes to eat after school. then, he'll try his best to cheer him up with words that he wrote on the sticky notes and pasted on osamu's table. he spent lots of time in the living room instead of his room, since he thought osamu needed some space to be alone. when it was time to sleep, he'll always try his best to search on google,  _ how to calm someone when his boyfriend left him.  _

osamu knew it, and it did touch his heart, witnessing everything that atsumu did just for him to be okay. and a thank you to him won't be enough to pay for everything he did. so osamu promised himself, whenever atsumu feels down or depressed,  _ he'll be the one who will always be there for him. he'll do the same thing atsumu did for him.  _

_ even if we always fought, we always cared for each other.  _

osamu's head was now filled with lots of positiveness. he knew what he'd say to suna. he knew how he controlled his emotions.

_ he knew everything from the start. but he was just scared.  _

and that's when he reflects everything that atsumu said to him.  _ take it slow _ . he inhales those pain slowly, and let it all out with ease. and atsumu said that _ everything's gonna be okay _ too. and osamu wanted to prove it to him. that everything's okay. he no need to worry about him anymore. 

osamu took a look at the grocery store, finding that suna was still there, scrolling down his phone in boredom. a smile creeps out from his mouth. 

_ he missed him so freaking much. _

"suna." 

suna turned, locking his eyes with osamu. he gave him an angry look. walking towards osamu in mad, he shouts, "i've waited here for 2 hours. 2. fucking. hours." 

osamu laughed a little.  _ ah, he missed suna's voice _ . "who the heck told you to wait?" 

suna rolled his eyes. "fine, you win. now. tell me. why don't you come to school for 3 days straight?" 

osamu's eyes look up at the night sky, mischievously smiling. "hmm. i'm sick?" 

"sick until you can't even reply to my messages?" 

"my phone died?" 

"you don't have any charger?" 

"i forgot to charge?" 

suna groans in disbelief, "seriously? that sounds bullshits. anyway, i'm relieved to see you being yourself right now. i don't know why but atsumu changed a lot. he's too damn quiet. and he didn't even flirt with girls nowadays. so i kinda thought something happened to you that could make him in a bad mood everyday. but i see nothing's wrong here." 

suna's babbling nonsense. _ if only time could stop and nothing ever stops us from seeing each other _ . "he's a dramatic ass queen, don't worry about him. he's all normal." 

"really?" 

"yea." 

suna paused a bit, then he looked at osamu. "so...you know about my new girlfriend?"

_ of course, he'll ask me that question.  _

osamu nodded. "congrats. so, when did you meet her?" he saw suna's eyes brighten up and shine. _ it was so pretty _ . 

_ if only those eyes shine whenever suna's talking about him.  _

excitement shivers down to suna's spines. he was excited to tell everything about his new girlfriend to osamu. suna knows, osamu was the only one who will always support whatever he likes. he's the only person who accepts for who he is. "atsumu is fucking lucky to have you as a brother, no joke. i'm gonna tell you everything. from a to z." 

_ the way suna smiles, his happy face, the excited tone. only god knows how much osamu is jealous of the girl whom suna liked. she sure is lucky to have him.  _

suna babbling everything about her girlfriend, how much he loves her, how pretty she is in his eyes. osamu keeps on listening to him. part of him wants suna to stop, telling him that it hurts him to listen to all those things, but he can't be selfish. he chose to let him go. he believes that he has found the right for him. he'll let her have suna for his whole heart. it hurts, yea fucking hurts. but it's okay. he was used to it. he doesn't want to force suna to have a feeling that he'll never have for him. he knows that she'll make him much more happy than osamu does. 

_ so that's why he'll try his best, to kill those useless feelings, to always keep on listen to suna, to be the one whom suna trust, to throw away his selfishness, to be the one who watch both of them living the perfect life, to be the one who help suna planning the marriage, to be the one who witness suna proposing his lover, and to be the the one who claps for both of them as they exchange those sweet line.  _

_ he'll always be there, whenever suna needs him. anything that makes suna happy, he's willing to give it to him.  _

_ and that's because suna was the only person, who can bloom europhias inside him. if only he knows how happy can osamu be, only by seeing his face.  _

osamu entered his room, finding that his brother was still not asleep at this time. "it's midnight, please don't tell me you were waiting for me." he said, sitting on the chair in front of the table. he didn't feel like sleeping yet. he just wanted to take a short moment of rest before getting on his bed. 

"you okay, now?" 

osamu turned to atsumu and smiled, "of course i am." 

_ he’s smiling, but he’s not happy. atsumu did know him well. _

he nodded. "then," atsumu was hesitant. he doesn't know if he can ask him the questions or not. but seeing osamu smile, he chose to ask him. "you let him go?" 

  
osamu bite his lower lips. his eyes have no tears left to cry anymore.  _ he's numb to the pain.  _

"yeah. i left him. at _ home _ ."


End file.
